i cant wait till school's over.

what are you doing today?

five pounds of homework. you?

fuck.

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

wooop

i smell like chlorine.

all i can smell is chlorine.

chlorine, chlorine, chlorine.


but guess what?

katie and i have another addition to the (now jumbo martini) glass,

javier! (an albino goldfish)


THE SNAIL SHALL LIVE!


and i finished katies present.

good day.

YES YES YES YES! MY FUTURE HUSBAND!

(the cool guy [not sniffing])

: ]

i just remembered something....



hahaha it just made me smile.

i have an infatuation over candles.

my mom keeps talking about how sweet that person is.

and i made a surprise present for katie.

(hehe)



i turned one of my moms dresses into a sleeveless dress. I RE-IMAGINED A DRESS, I FEEL LIKE A SAVED THE PLANET.


ella was just messing with my stuff AND sitting on my bed without asking.

and guess what?

she got hurt cause a drumstick fell on her face.


THATS what she gets.



KARMA.

when you see any art piece you absolutely love and that really opens your mind, you imagine the artist to be your total soul mate. mysterious, handsome, creative, dresses amazing (wears cardigans). and then you get curious and you look him up in google images just to see if your fantasies stand correct. your response to what you see: "oh."


just freaking look at mike perry.


eww, right?

yeah,

i had a booger in my nose.

and i think i have a phobia over flies.

reading IS sexy.

i got a snail today with katie.

i dont think its going to live long.

mom almost kicked my ass too.

that was scary.

i still have dirt under my nails.

and i still have "i'm gonna be (500 miles)" by the proclaimers stuck in my head.

i guess i dont mind.

now i have stupid ms. pearson's project to work on.




grrreat.

this is going to be the longest title i've ever made. i wanna see how long the title limit is. this is pretty daring. oh dang i found it. this is it..

252.

dear tyler,

i officially updated my blog.

and my mom got the song dream weaver stuck in my head.

i had a bunch of things to say on here earlier,

but i forgot all of them.

boggie and sissy

I AM SO SICK OF THEM BOTH!! I CAN NOT WAIT TILL THEY LEAVE! THEN I CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM WITH THE DOOR OPEN, WALK AROUND THE HOUSE NAKED, NEVER GET HEADACHES, ETC, AGAIN! THEY ARE BOTH TICKING ME OFF!

AND SISSY HUMPED HALEY, AND IT MADE ME WANT TO THROW UP, AND BOGGIE JUST LAUGHED! HOW CAN YOU LAUGH AT THAT?

wow.

i was skimming through my old journal (the one i had before the one i use now), and i was REALLY into that whole woe is me thing. lesley arfin is right, it really is easy to get into that. i was so pathetic, but i was so creative. in some journal entries i would have pictures to explain what i was feeling. thats pretty cool. i wonder why i dont do that anymore. but then again i do things in my journal that i haven't done before too. like paste in papers and stuff.


but wow. i sounded so emo in that old journal.

now vs. then

i can feel myself mellowing by the minute.

its creepy.


and when i stare at a blank page for too long.

my mind freezes.


people i've known for so long seem like strangers.

and i know why.


one thing happening can change your life forever.

but it doesnt feel like it-

right now.


i'll think back to what seems long ago.

and i get so thankful i changed.

im sorry im so weird

i dont know why i hate the phone, i just do. i just hate talking to people on it. i absolutely love hanging around with him, and i really hope that he isn't getting mad at me for not calling him, but i'm so scared i'm going to make a fool of myself that i dont call him. and i want to find the moments when i'll have privacy. (because i dont have a bedroom anymore)

246.

i dont feel like talking about it,
but i want it to be known.

we talked about this,
i felt like breaking down.

i felt like crying my heart out
outside in the dark night.

but i stayed strong,
i stayed strong just for her.

i made it better by
giving him a hug.

listening to yo-yo ma,
while drawing with crayons.

all together except for one,
or maybe two.

i think we'll manage ok,
we always do.

only 4 of us now,
with one more just-friend.

i want so much.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

couldn't do it.

IM'd tyler today.
wore my woodinville high school shirt.
school sucked.
i'm going to take a shower now.

i lost my phone again.

and i'm going to try not going on my my blog for a whole 2 DAYS! i wanna see if i can do it.


probably not but worth a shot.

today.

im going to invent a scream box.

i wish my last name was weird like weiner (ALLITERATION).

i had to go shopping at the mall today (HORRIBLE)

and i had to help boggie shop.

he's such a retard he doesn't even know his own size.

i just picked out stuff for him to try on and the stuff that worked he bought.

i wanted him to get some black skinny jeans (that were the EXACT same pair as mine but the men's version) but he said they were "emo" and vetoed the idea.

what i got out of it:
i learned all about men's sizes.

pff.

whatever.

green.

district dance is today. i wonder if tyler's going...

mallys point of view.

first of all, she took a shower with the door wide open. then she dried herself (door still wide open) while i was trying to use the bathroom. how could i even concentrate while her disgusting boobs are right by my face? after that she has the nerve to just walk out completely naked. honestly, have you heard of wrapping yourself up with a towel?! the part that most makes me want to vomit though, is when she leans against the doorway (still naked) of mom's room, sticks out her hip, and asks mom, "wanna piece of this?" in a low creepy voice, like she's some molester or something. IT WAS THE MOST GROSS THING I'VE EVER SEEN! and then to add salt to the wound she starts dancing around naked and her boobs were bouncing up and down! while she's hopping around and making silly noises, she's asking, "guess who i am? guess who i am? i'm ella! remember?" mom kicks her out of her room but she's laughing (i dont understand it). now that i'm permenantly scarred for life i still feel like i'm going to puke. thanks a ton missy.

and she wonders why i think she's immature!

very mysterious...

whats up with the rating thing?

majesta's blog doesn't have it,

why did i all of a sudden get it and she didn't?

uh huh.

i'm thinking,
thinking,
and thinking,
but nothing comes,
as hard as i try,
my mind sticks like glue
to one certain blank page
of my ongoing story.

i. i. i.

i dont feel like making sense right now.
i dont want to be writing on my blog.
i want to be writing in my journal.
i hate it when i get blamed, its not my fault!
i swear honestly!
i miss falling asleep to music.
i miss not feeling guilty over everything when its not my fault,
it isn't me.
i dont enjoy things like i should.
i feel like sleeping and hiding.

I FEEL LIKE WRITING.

I DONT KNOW WHY I'M ANGRY, BUT I FEEL ANGRY AT EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW! I COULD JUST SCREAM!

taco party day.

happy cinco de mayo! it really is a beautiful day outside to celebrate that battle victory against the french! GO MEXICO! YAY!

truly fuzzies.

i want to get married in Hitsujiyama park.
did you see that article on yahoo home?

thoughtful.

conundrum (n): riddle
ex: That was the most delightful conundrum, tell me it once more!

*sigh*

i sometimes wonder if im totally in denial about everything. am i really who i am? how did i become this? its like everythings in a blur. i dont want to go back, but i dont want to go forward. i cant even make sense to myself. im excited about next year, but i know its bad im hiding from the world. i hope i'll keep my act together with everything. you never know.

am i predictable?

12 to 12

not at school:
sleep, sleep, sleep,
slide out of bed,
jump in the shower (before mally does),
[optional: do hair]
drink some hot tea
& eat breakfast (whatever it may be),
use the bathroom,
finish breakfast,
brush my teeth,
gather all my stuff,
walk to bus stop,
talk to majesta/wait for bus,
bus comes (haha cums),
get on, walk to back,
sit down near majesta,
talk talk talk,
school bus arrives at school.

school:
walk with abbie and majesta,
follow abbie or majesta to locker,
abbie goes with me to my locker,
i get out appropriate stuff,
find elizabeth,
find katie,
talk and waste time till bell rings,
bell rings,
go to spanish,
stay awake,
bell rings,
walk to science,
sit down in seat next to alison,
laugh at anything the whole class
[today laughed at how a pumping heart looks sexual],
bell rings,
walk to english class,
work on stupid projects,
harass clarry,
bell rings,
walk (fast) to locker,
put stuff away,
run to gym,
try my best to not make a fool out of myself,
bell rings,
finally lunch time,
walk back to locker,
go to the meeting spot [aka E building girl's bathroom]
find everyone there,
go to lunch,
eat & talk about weird stuff,
bell rings,
silent reading,
sit next to lainey ;[
avoid you know who (who used my pencil without asking, and who knows what he does with his hands so i said he could keep the pencil because i didn't want it anymore, but i felt bad i was thinking that way because i reminded myself of jenny park, but then i thought of how much he harasses me and so i didn't feel bad anymore).
REST OF DAY:
blah blah blah

im boring myself too much to finish.

odd.

i tasted peanut butter and jelly...?

fun times by myself continued on.

i ordered a free "VOTE" poster made by nikki mcclure on buyolympia.com just now.


i love free things.


and im eating corn.