my sister is so dumb sometimes

Ok, i'll make this little story short and sweet, since i still have a lot to get done before i go to sleep. My sister is an idiot sometimes. My dad was over at our house (dont ask me why, cause its a long story), and before he left, Ella told mom to give him a kiss good-bye (she thought she was being funny of course), and then mom said no (politely), and then she asks mom to at least give him a HUG! HOW DISGUSTING IS THAT?!?! I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO THROW UP!!! And then mom gets all pissed at her, and Ella's like what? as if she didn't do anything incredibly stupid! I SWEAR SHE'S A BLONDE! or she's just the she-devil. I think both.

Actually thats mean, i wont say that, i'll just say she's mentally challenged socially (thats nicer).

school's getting better

i want to feel the misery that makes your heart feel like its been crushed to a million pieces

i want the dark,
i want rain,
bring on the misery,
that cold feeling my heart craves,
i can take it,
i'm strong,
so bring it on me,

i want to be lonely,
i want tears,
streaming down my face,
just let me flush it out,
its nothing new,
i can take it,
so bring it on

hehe!

Forget jacob! I HEART COLE!!!!!!!!!! COLE ROX MY WORLD!!!!!!! i think he's amazing! HE'S ME NEW CRUSH! hehe!

just putting this on so i dont forget it, cause it makes me feel better

me: I am me? This is so hard! i hate describing myself! I need someone to do it for me!
jacob: OK MARISSA i will do it for you. ok marissa is very crazy but exciting and fun to be around infact i sometimes have the most fun with her than any other person. she is very random and sometimes can have a good sense of humor (VERY VERY RAMDOM)!!! she seems to say I LOVE YOU to almost everyone except jeremy cause he scares her and gives her nightmares. She does this wierd run and its really funny!! she laughs a lot and has even been kicked out of class for it (LOL HAHAHA MR. MCCLURE!!!). hmmm what else... maybe i should just have a list!! funny, extremely cute, laughs a lot, random, fun to talk to, fun to be around, says i love you a lot, different (IN A GOOD WAY MARISTRA), interesting ( also in a good way!!), i could say more but oh well!!

new laptops at school!

i'm at school right now! yay! i'm so sneaky! i just got my new lap top (for school) and everyone's screwing off with their lap tops! i wont blog for long cause i'm scared i'm gonna get caught tho!

my stupid emotions/hormones

i keep having short crushes with jacob, its really stupid of me. i think i'm just missing him liking me, so i'm just missing the attention, so i start to like him when he stops liking me. So now he has a totally hot girlfriend, i'm green with envy. Why do i do shit like this to myself? I need to find someone. Because i'm making life harder for myself this way. I guess its a good thing i at least know why i'm having little school girl crushes on him. Everything will work out in the end i guess. Another thing that's been bugging me is jacob's been acting wierd around me lately too. Its almost as if he's too "cool" for me now, and i'm just an embarrasment to him. Especially around whatsername. damn him! lol! (just kidding) but he invited me to go to the fair with him, but then i guess he just forgets about it, and goes without me! (he doesn't even tell me about it or anything!) i thought that was rude. Is it just me? Cause i know that sometimes i CAN over-react. *Sigh*
There has been someone who i think i like, i barely know him at all, so i dont have a "crush" yet. but he's so intriguing, he makes me curious. He's like one of those people u just want to know. To me, he reminds me of all of my friends into one.

the most beautiful song ever, it makes me cry everytime i listen to it

"First Day Of My Life" by Bright Eyes

This is the first day of my life
I swear I was born right in the doorway
I went out in the rain suddenly everything changed
They're spreading blankets on the beach

Yours is the first face that I saw
I think I was blind before I met you
Now I don’t know where I am
I don’t know where I’ve been
But I know where I want to go

And so I thought I’d let you know
That these things take forever
I especially am slow
But I realize that I need you
And I wondered if I could come home

Remember the time you drove all night
Just to meet me in the morning
And I thought it was strange you said everything changed
You felt as if you'd just woke up
And you said “this is the first day of my life
I’m glad I didn’t die before I met you
But now I don’t care I could go anywhere with you
And I’d probably be happy”

So if you want to be with me
With these things there’s no telling
We just have to wait and see
But I’d rather be working for a paycheck
Than waiting to win the lottery
Besides maybe this time is different
I mean I really think you like me

why is my life the piece of shit it is, and why do i feel so lonely?

first day of school was yesterday, and today was the 2nd day of schol (obviously), and both days sucked balls. Im just this new invisible loner girl now. I should think of all the good things about my "situation" but all the bad things are just over-powering it. and i have all this effing homework to do already. is it just me, or am i being tortured for something? is there someone out there who wished this upon me? did i bring this upon myself? i just wish i come out of 8th grade alive, but by the looks of it, i'm not going to survive. i want to run away sooooooo badly. but i'm too pathetic. i'm so pathetic i'm using this leota middle school pencil to rebel against einstein, no one knows about that except me, although somehow it makes me feel a tad better. whatever does make me feel better, i'm gonna do it damn it! lol

new blog?

i think i might make a new blog, but with only pictures! my own online photo album! lol! Just like what alison did! i know, i know, i'm such a copy-cat, but its a really good idea! :)

new haircut

I got a new haircut yesterday, and it makes me look like a totally different person! At first i was like, "WHAT WAS I THINKING???" but now i kinda like it! I have real bangs now, and i dyed my hair darker! i have my mom's color hair! wooot wooot! Its a pretty color, and i like it. TOTALLY STELLAR! hahahahah! well i took a picture of myself posing to use as my IM pic, but no one's going to recognize me (and i didnt' even tell anyone i got a haircut either! lol!). And since no one really goes on blogger anymore, i'm gonna put up a pic of my new haircut! (although it doesn't really show the actually haircut that well since its pulled up in a pony tail/bun thingy! hehe!)